Ultimate Fighter Finale & Ultimate Fight Night

So in the past 5 days, UFC has had two specials on Spike TV. And oh what adventures we've had.

The Ultimate Fighter Finale was fairly well done. The pacing was still slow, but it was better than the TUF2 Finale. As expected, Michael Bisping defeated Josh Haynes to win the Light Heavyweight contract. And Kendall Grove defeated Ed Hermann to win the Middleweight Contract. I was quite happy to see that Hermann lost, as he was entirely too confident in his abilities, and too obsessed with Ortiz, as I have stated before. It was a fairly good fight, with Grove really coming across as a much improved fighter. Because of the closeness of the of Grove/Hermann fight, Dana did the Bonnar/Griffin thing and gave both fighters contracts.

And this is where things got interesting. I swear I saw Dana pull Ed Herman aside when Joe Rogan went to interview Kendall, and when Joe interviewed Ed, he seemed more reserved and cordial than the self-absorbed, whiny little child that I had come to want to see dead over the season. Did Dana have a little chat with Ed? I think its entirely possible. It was even better when Dana announced a contract for Ed, as he was already halfway to the locker room, and didn't convey the same sense of excitement that Stephan did when he got his contract. In fact, Ed almost looked disappointed with the contract offer. Which raises an interesting question...Is Ed obligated to take the contract? To me, it seemed that Dana was more interested in locking up a free agent fighter than with rewarding Ed. And I think there's a reason for that.

Dana White, and the UFC, are trying to corner the market on mediocre fighters. As Dave Ling pointed out, the fighters from TUF 1-3 are being exposed as Not Ready for Prime Time Fighters. But at the same time, they are putting on good fights when put up against someone on their own level. Bonnar/Griffin is considered one of the best fights of 2005. But since then, Bonnar has been unimpressive/disappointing. Granted, Griffin is coming into his own, but even he lost to Tito Ortiz, although that fight probably did more to elevate him than hurt him in the eyes of the fans. Season 2s Joe Stevenson had a decent fight with Luke Cuommo, but was beaten in his last fight.

What I'm trying to point out is that, when up against fighters of their calibre, TUF guys look pretty good, but when they're in the ring with more experienced fighters, they come across as pretty unimpressive. But it seems that Dana is determined to make these lower calibre wrestlers the cornerstone of the promotion. Rather than try to sign a fighter like Rampage Jackson, Dana focuses his energies on the Lebens and Quarrys. If Dana gets a stable of enough of these fighters, he will be putting on great matches every time, because the guys he has under contract are all on the same level. But they won't be world-class fighters. But nobody will notice, because UFC gets all the MMA press in the popular media. Groups like PRIDE, IFL, WFA, Strike Force aren't getting the same level of coverage. So the general fan will consider what the UFC is presenting to be the pinnacle of MMA.

Take Chris Leben's moronoic promo before he was beaten like a red-headed orphan by Anderson Silva. Leben said when he was done with Silva, Silva could go where the competition isn't as tough, like Japan. To the casual UFC observer, this statement demarcates UFC as the superior promotion. If Dana can continue this myth, and the myth that the UFC has the best fighters in the world, then eventually that myth will come to be accepted. Sort of like the way FOX News viewers believe that Iraq had WMDs or that there is a was on Xmas. The truth will become irrelevant, and all that matters is the message. I'm sure Dana was happy with Leben's promo, if he didn't have it scripted for him. The more the UFC can create the illusion that they are the premiere MMA group in the world, the more they can convince people that illusion is true. So by locking up another mediocre fighter like Ed Hermann up in a contract, Dana ensures that he has another fighter to put on good fights with the rest of the mediocre fighters he has under contract.

Other thoughts coming out of TUF3 and Ultimate Fight Night:

• Ultimate Fight Night helped convince me Joe Rogan is on the outs with UFC. He openly mocked Blade, the show that the Ultimate Fight Night was organized to promote. He said that the judge who scored the Bonnar/Evans "should be shot," and he mocked Blade star 'Sticky' Fingaz during his interview. (Granted, the mockery came in the form of Joe's patented wide-eyed 'is this person a freak' look, but it was mockery nonetheless.)
• I may have been too judgemental of Tait Fletcher. I've been to his website and read his message boards. He may have been a bit of a jackass on the show, but he seems somewhat more human when not filtered by Zuffa editors. But his head is still enormous.
• Mark Hominick also has a giant head. As does Tito Ortiz.
• I'm thinking of taking up MMA training, just so I can challenge Jonathon Goulet to a hair vs hair match and win. Of course, I weigh two Goulets, but thats beside the point.
• UFC is going too far with the product placement and cross-promotion. I think one of the reasons I didn't really like Blade: The Series is because it was hyped so much.
• What amazed me is that they didn't pretend to change their name to Stake TV to promote the Blade premiere.
• I still think there's something with those decals on the octagon mat that messes with people's footing.
• I'm getting tired of fighters' nicknames. They seem so forced and contrived. The worst is Tim 'The Maine-Iac' Sylvia.
• I'm looking forward to TUF4. Mainly because I want to see Shonie Carter walking around the house with his goblet.
• If Zuffa hasn't bought the rights to LL Cool J's Mama Said Knock You Out for TUF4, they have no marketing sense.
• Okay, GSP, good fighter. BAD interview. And this isn't just because I hate Quebec. He doesn't speak good English, and should not be interviewed. I can only imagine the frustration of the guys he was 'coaching'.
• Okay, just so I'm clear, does the winner of the TUF4 get a title shot?
• And is it me, or does Dana promise title shots to fighters as flippantly as I offer "I Love You's" to the women I want to bed?
• I am really looking forward to UFC 61. That footage of Tito laughing at Ken and Ken kicking the chair into Dana is classic.
• Arlovski isn't going to win. His hair is still too short. Whoever the Jezebel who convinced him to cut his hair is an idiot.
• I will finish with this quote from the Ultimate Fight Night feedback on the Observer. "Plus, why does Joe Rogan hate Canadian Fighters? He continually downplays the efforts of fighters like GSP and Hominick and will instead praise whomever they are poundings ability to take a beating. Did Dave Foley burn you, Joe, on us Canucks? Why the hate?"

The Best Game You Can Name?

Dave Ling made an interesting point about "Canada's Game" in his latest post here. In this post, which mainly discusses the trade of Andrew Raycroft from the Bruins to the Leafs, he had this to say, "To me it's my least favourite of the professional league sports -- basketball, football, baseball, heck probably even lacrosse. I find preverse pleasure the fact that game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals drew fewer television viewers then WWE's weekly showing of Monday Night RAW." The reason I mention this is because I was planning on making a post on the same subject.

I am Canadian.

I'm not obsessed with hockey.

I mean, don't get me wrong. If I'm given the choice between watching hockey and watching rabid wolves tear my nieces apart, I'll watch the hockey. But I'm not the kind of chest painting, schedule planning, life dedicating hockey fan that tends to populate this barren wasteland we call a country.

I own a Boston Bruins jersey. I think I still have a Cam Neely poster somewhere. I also have an autographed picture of Bobby Orr's goal that a London Knight who used to room at my parents' place got for me. But hockey isn't the be all and end all of my existence. I'll choose NFL Football over the NHL any day. Same with MLB and NBA. Possibly even NASCAR. And certainly I'll take wrestling or MMA over hockey.

Why is this so? I have no idea. But I do have some theories.

First of all, I never played hockey as a child. And this is one of my biggest problems with hockey as opposed to other sports. The investment involved in hockey is much greater than the other major sports. If a kid wants to play hockey, beyond playing some road hockey with their friends, (which is quasi-illegal anyway) then the parents have to shell out big bucks. Skates, pads, sticks, socks, registration fees, replacement blades, etc, etc. And thats just to play in a league. Then they have to shell out extra money for tournaments, transportation, hotel rooms. And its more than just a financial investment. Canadian parenting tales are filled with stories of parents (often fathers, but such a generalization would be incredibly sexist and would greatly diminish the contribution of those mothers who take an interest in their children's lives) who take their kids to hockey practice at 5 am every morning because thats the only ice time available.

Not all families can afford this kind of investment, both the financial and the time. Compare this to a game like basketball where the parents need to buy a ball, and if the kid shows some interest, a pair of decent sneakers. Or baseball, which involves sneakers and a glove, and, every now and then, a bat and ball.

And then there's football, which should cost just as much as hockey. But from what I can understand, football doesn't involve the same investment, particularly not in the U.S. I consulted with my buddy Daubs, because he's an escaped American living in Canada. And from what he says, Pop Warner football provides the equipment, rather than requiring the kids to provide their own. This must make football a more affordable choice than hockey.

So children growing up in Canada who want to participate in Canada's game must have parents who are willing and able to make the commitment to get their children involved in the game. And some parents aren't. Some can't afford the money or the time. Some choose not to make the commitment to that game, and instead choosing to get their children involved in other activities. And given the chance of being assaulted by another parent at a midget game, I can't blame them.

I never played hockey. I believe it was a combination of the money, the time, and my mother's neurotic opposition to sports.

A few years ago, there was talk of offering tax credits to parents for hockey equipment. It seems that the government decided to address a truly pressing national crisis, that of declining interest in hockey, before dealing with others like unemployment or health care. I was incredibly opposed to this plan, because it didn't offer similar tax incentives to parents who wanted to buy their children a musical instrument, or a computer, or any of the other expensive items that kids need to have an advantage in the job market when they get older.

Basically, I don't like hockey because its an incredibly exclusionary sport. It demarcates who can and who cannot participate, and to hell with anyone who can't.

Plus, Don Cherry is a loudmouth jerk.

And I'm sick of NHL broadcasts pre-empting Monday Night Raw.

And finally, hockey is responsible for what I like to call "The Second Worst Christmas Ever." This holiday saw me at the store with my dad in the sporting equipment aisle. I asked why we were there, and he told me that someone (my stepmother) thought somebody (me) wanted a new pair of skates for Christmas. I responded that I had absolutely no interest in a pair of skates, and under no circumstances should they purchase me a pair of skates. Come Christmas morning, I am the proud recipient of, you guessed it, a pair of skates. I used them once. A few months later, my stepbrother, who played hockey and whose skates were getting tattered, claimed my Christmas present as his own, with no recompense to me. Conspiracy? Possibly.

Gonna Ramble On, Sing My Song

Just some random thoughts, in lieu of an actual post.

• Stella was voted off Last Comic Standing tonight. Shocking. The unfunny woman who was only put on the show because she would cause 'friction' was quickly eliminated by the fans who were asked to judge on comic ability, rather than their ability to make 'good TV.' This, in a nutshell, is my problem with these shows. Shows like LCS and The Ultimate Fighter are slaves to narratology, rather than seeking to provide entertainment in other forms. Shows like The Real World need this conflict based approach because thats all the show has to offer. But the shows that are being done under the pretense of finding a fighter/comedian/business executive/liontamer/gynecologist to the stars shouldn't be bound by these constraints. But such is the nature of the beast. The question is whether it is the fans who demand these conflicts, the producers who think the fans demand these conflicts, or the executives who demand the producers provide these conflicts because they believe the fans demand them. It's a vicious circle.
• I'm not sure whether the IFL and WFA will succeed, but this article from The Fight Network/MMA Weekly is an interesting read.
• CanWest Global's Prime TV has been rebranded as TVTropolis, a knockoff of America's TV Land, only with a bunch of reruns of Canadian television shows that nobody wants to watch. But one show they have is Beverly Hills, 90210, aka THE GREATEST SHOW EVER!!! Okay, that might be stretching it, but that show really redefined teen melodrama shows. Well, Degrassi Jr. High did, but 90210 made it cool. Right now they're showing the first season, back when it was more issue oriented, ie, teen pregnancy one episode, AIDS the next, then alcoholism. Whats really amazing is the fact that Shannen Doherty remains the hottest woman on television. And there is nothing wrong with her eyes! And she wore a Degrassi varsity jacket in Mallrats.
• If you didn't see last week's Fear Factor, try to find it. Or just go here to watch this. You've probably already seen it, but it was even better in the context of the show.
• Speaking of Joe Rogan, my roommate has a theory that Joe is on the outs with UFC. This due to Joe's association with Taint Fletcher, and Taint's ultimate disappointing of Dana in refusing to step up and take a fight with Bisping. I dismissed this, but a quick look at this page of Joe's website shows that Joe has a comedy date in Boston the night of UFC 61, which should be a HUGE night for UFC, coming off TUF3 and with the highly anticipated Shamrock/Ortiz match. Why is Joe doing a comedy show the night of one of the biggest PPVs of the year?
• Whats the deal with next Wednesday's Ultimate Fight Night? First of all, the website has it listed as taking place at 2:30 in the afternoon. Second of all, Kristian Rothaermel has a fight. Does anyone know how he got back in with Dana? Does this mean Taint is coming back too? Or...Noah?
• I just started watching Season One of Deadwood. Man, Sopranos, Big Love, Oz, Entourage, Deadwood (and a bunch of other shows as well). HBO makes some damn good TV. I'm giving Lucky Louie a shot, but I'm not sold yet. Besides, I feel creepy checking out Bobby Hill's boobies.
• Has anyone seen Tourgasm? I like Dane Cook, but its not showing in Canada yet. Same with Ricky Gervais' Extras.
• The more I watch Family Business (If the link doesn't work, don't blame me, Showtime has a seriously messed up internet policy.) , the more I want to work in the porn industry. Behind the camera of course. I highly doubt there would be a big market for overweight, unattractive men with small penises having sex with beautiful women. But I can hold a camera and edit with the best of them.
• Because I live in Canada, I think I'm supposed to be upset that Edmonton didn't win the Stanley Cup. But I'm not.
• The more I work on my proposal for my thesis, the more I don't want to actually write the thesis. Sadly, EVERYONE else in my program feels the same way about their theses.
• Evidently Superman Returns doesn't suck.

TUFinale

So the finals for TUF3 have been set. I know I haven't written much on TUF3, and certainly not as much as I had hoped to. I'll blame it on being distracted. You know, schoolwork, conference presentation, something shiny. But with the finals set, and the next season set to start in August, I thought I should at least mention it.

• I was disappointed that Matt wasn't able to go further. Hopefully Tito meant it when he said he was going to take Matt under his wing. The look on Matt's face when they told him he wouldn't be fighting tells me that he really wants to do this. Judging from his fight, I don't think he's ready for the UFC, but I do think he has what it takes to eventually make it.
• I hate Ed Herman. I mean, I hated Taint Fletcher, but Ed Herman is just obnoxious. Hate to the point where I will have to seriously think about whether or not I want to order a PPV where he is fighting. Not only is he immature, obnoxious and arrogant, but he has a serious Tito complex. I can understand being disappointed that Tito didn't pick you, but Ed's determination to prove Tito wrong borders on obsession. There's hero worship, and then there's stalking. Ed needs to seriously think about what is motivating him, because getting Tito's attention and affection is probably not the best reason to fight.
• That being said, I also hate Kendall Grove. I hate 'Team Dagger', I hate his spiderwebbed head, and I hate the fact that he's a narcissistic, self-involved little child. I think the Kendalls and Eds are the reason that I didn't enjoy this season as much as the previous ones. If I want to watch children drink, throw hissy fits and act like drunken monkeys, I can watch The Real World. This is supposed to be a show about guys training to become professional fighters, but instead they choose to act like morons. Some of it is funny, but when it degrades into homophobia and headgear pissing, then the show has lost its focus. I mean, Dana won't give them televisions, but he will give them alcohol? And I'm not expecting the fighters to be teetotallers. But I don't expect them to be stumbling drunks either. They need to lay down some ground rules for the participants, because they aren't making UFC look good with their antics.
• Of all the fighters who will succeed in the UFC, my money is on Ross Pointon. That's right, Ross. I think Bisping has the chance to make it eventually (that was a great knee), but right now the man for the UFC is Ross. Why? Because he's their new Tank Abbott. Somebody drops out of a fight? Call Ross. Need some filler on an Ultimate Fight Night? Call Ross. Need to feed a guy to a new up and comer? Call Ross. I don't think Ross is going to be a UFC champ, but I think he has the potential to achieve cult fan favorite status. They just have to make sure they give him plenty of interview time. Even better would be an interview session with GSP and Ross. I smell money.
• My predictions for the finale? Unfortunately, I have to go with Ed. I think he's just a better fighter than Kendall. More importantly, I don't think the fight is going to get out of the first round. I've also got to go with Bisping. He won his fight handily, whereas Josh was on the defensive in the first round, and got the standing guillotine on a stupid mistake by Jesse.
• My biggest concern about the TUF3 Finale? That their is going to be an overabundance of filler like there was for TUF2. This is an area where Dana and UFC need to do some work. There is no reason that, on a show that features three fights that they should feature over an hour of interviews, recaps and other nonsense. If the fights aren't as long as expected, they should fill that time with dark matches. I shouldn't be able to go outside for a cigarette, go to the washroom, grab a snack and change my laundry between matches.
• As for Tito and Ken, I think the 3-1 ratio speaks for itself. Especially when you consider that Matt was also Team Punishment. Ken really didn't seem to care about anyone but himself and his fight with Tito. For me, the most telling moment was when Ken spent a training session watching 'fight tapes'. What this really meant was Ken watching his glory days in the octagon, and expecting his fighters to do the same. Tito actually seemed to care whether his fighters succeeded, and more importantly, improved.
• Of course, that final pull-apart couldn't have been more staged. But at least it made Ken out to be the asshole in this whole thing.

Ain't No Cure For The Summertime Blues

With the end of the regular television season, and the pending television wasteland that is summer, the networks turn to summer programming to fill the void. CBS is offering us Big Brother: All Stars, which should prove interesting, given that most of the people who have been on that show have been devoid of any redeeming qualities. (I am personally hoping that Mike Boogie comes back, only so we can find out what happened with that Nyquil junkie trailer trash chick he proposed too on the season finale. That, and the guy who held a knife to her throat in a drunken romantic moment. And if you think its creepy to read that statement, try watching it when it happened.)

FOX is offering Hell's Kitchen, which I guess is designed to make people not want to eat out. (Oh my gawd, please tell me you got that on film!)

ABC is, well, since the season finale of Lost I don't think I've tuned into ABC except to check the score in the NBA finals. (Go Mavs!)

Then there's NBC. The Ozymandias of television networks is serving up heaping helpings of competition programs. Treasure Hunters is scheduled to start on Sunday, and with the success of National Treasure and The Da Vinci Code, could prove interesting. I'm going to be cheering for Team Southie, although I really should be rooting for Team Grad Students.

There's also America's Got Talent, being sold as the combination of Simon Cowell's genius and Regis Philbin's, um, whatever Regis has. The commercials for the show promise such illustrious judges as David Hasselhoff, Brandy and some other guy. The show seems to be a modern incarnation of The Gong Show, only sans the wit and whimsey that defined that show. I have a feeling the show was designed to capitalize on the popularity of American Idol, but done in a way that ensures that the people who only watch the first few weeks of Idol to see the truly terrible acts (aka ME) will watch the entire run. So I guess I'll be watching. But it won't be the same without Gene Gene the Dancing Machine.

Speaking of which, why have they not released The Gong Show on DVD? Even a best of boxset would be awesome. Particularly if they include Jaye P. Morgan flashing her assets to the crowd. And the popsicle girls. Now I just have to content myself with Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and The Gong Show E! True Hollywood story. (Keep in mind that I'm in Canada, where television stations that offer programming people want to watch are restricted by CRTC regulations that require stations to offer Canadian programming instead.)

And finally, NBC has resurrected Last Comic Standing. I loved the first two incarnations of this show, particularly the second season. Then NBC got greedy and hotshotted a third season in the fall following season two, which died a horrible death. It was so bad, the finale only aired on Bravo. After taking last summer off, LCS is back, only with some unfortunate changes. First of all, Jay Mohr is gone, replaced by Anthony Clark from Yes, Dear and Boston Common. Now, Anthony Clark is funny, but he's not Jay Mohr. Jay had a certain, I don't know, a je ne sais quoi, that made him a great host. Maybe it was just because the show was his brainchild, and he was more invested in it, both literally and figuratively. Clark is missing that investment.

The other thing missing from the show is good comics. I just finished watching the second selection episode, and there is something horribly wrong with the choices they made. The comics that had me laughing out loud weren't picked, while the ones who seemed to bomb like the Enola Gay made it through. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. The NBC LCS message board has been bombarded with messages from furious viewers who are making clear their intentions to abandon this show like Fantine with Cossette. Now, some of the comics are pretty good. But some of the comics who were rejected were far superior to the ones who did make it. The worst is the inclusion of a pregnant drag queen who is about as funny as a sack full of dead puppies.

And I know the show is edited, and that the producers have to consider, or think they have to consider, interpersonal dynamics when making their decisions, but their choices have resulted in a show that people don't want to watch, and probably won't. Which is too bad, because the first few seasons of the show introduced me, and a number of others, to a wide range of previously unknown comics. Of course, the show also unleashed Ralphie May on the world to spread his squealing ignorance, but he's been lost in the white noise of Larry the Cable Guy anyway.

I'm not going to make any grandiose claims that I won't be watching Last Comic Standing, but it just became much less interesting. Maybe I'll just use this as an opportunity to catch up on House. Or, you know, go outside or work on my thesis. But that's crazy talk.