Bound For Glory

So I was all set to watch Pride "Real Deal" at Crabby Joe's on Saturday night, when, a couple of weeks ago, I got a better offer. My brother emailed me and told me he had won tickets to go see Bound for Glory in Detroit, courtesy of Viewers Choice Canada. We made some plans, arranged for the proper transportation and accomodation, and headed down to Detroit for the big show. You can get recaps all over the net, so I'm not going to bother giving all the details. I'm just going to reflect on the show as it came across to the audience live in the arena.

General Thoughts

• I am overweight. So I love visiting the United States. Because I'm the same size as just about everybody else.
• I hereby demand that American restaurants make their way into Canada. I'm looking at you Cracker Barrel, Denny's, Chili's and Olive Garden. And don't give me none of that 'It didn't work the first time' crap Olive Garden. It was all good, and then one location didn't do well, so you cut and ran. But we Canadians are a forgiving people, and we will gladly welcome you back. Please, come back and put East Side Mario's out of business. Their commercials make me want to kill puppies.
• I also demand that Hostess Fruit Pies be made available in Canada. I know they're going to be the death of me, but I'll die happy dammit!

The Arena

• I've been a wrestling fan for over twenty years now. In that time, I've weathered bad storylines, bad wrestlers, Vince Russo, and a scourge of avoidable and unnecessary wrestler deaths. But the thing that makes me consider giving up wrestling forever is none of those. Instead, its other wrestling fans. I know this is going to make me sound like a snob, but there is nothing more disturbing than the crowd you'll find at a live wrestling event. From that guy who dresses like Hulk Hogan, to the stereotypical gap-toothed rednecks, to the overweight virgins with their misspelled signs. A wrestling event can be a damn depressing place. And I'm not saying that all wrestling fans are like that. Some of my best friends have been wrestling fans, and I wouldn't be ashamed to be seen in public with any of them. But a live wrestling event truly draws in a diverse cross-section of North Americana. The next time anyone questions why advertisers are reluctant to advertise with pro wrestling, go to a live event.
• I did run into a couple of guys from The LAW at the show. One of them is a total dick. The other is Dan Lovranski, who is very personable.
• Okay, I gotta say this. The seats at the Compuware Sports Arena suck. I'm talking Linda Lovelace level of sucking.
• Okay, TNA, you really need to make some changes if you want to be taken seriously. Some of them I'll get into when I talk about the show, but here's a big one. Have more than one merch table. Seriously, half hour waits for shirts isn't cool. And also important is location. If you're going to make people wait around till you open the doors, have a merch table out there. When people wait, they get bored. And when they're bored, they buy shit. Think about it.

The Show

• Our seats weren't bad. If you saw the show, we were in the stands to the left of the entrance ramp. So we had a good view of the entrances. And not a bad view of the ring.
• Before the show started, Jeremy Borash was throwing stuff into the crowd. Dude has a good arm.
• Chant of the Pre-Show: 'Thank You Dixie' for TNA President Dixie Carter. Classy and well-deserved.

Bobby/Robert Roode v Lance Hoyt

• Okay, for weeks they've been plugging Bobby Roode's quest for a new manager. They brought in Sheri Martel, Bobby Heenan, Col. Parker to tease the big announcement. And the big announcement is...Traci Brooks. Now Ms. Brooks, her unnaturally large breasts barely constrained by a quasi-sexy business blazer. Yawn. All that buildup to re-re-re-re-introduce Traci Brooks? Brutal. And boring.

Kevin Nash Invitational X-Division Battle Royale

• Okay, this is the first of my major complaints about the show. TNA had large video screens set up at the entrance ramp. But they didn't use them enough. So whenever something was happening backstage, we didn't see it. So much of the show was lost on us.
• The match was pretty good, with some entertaining comedy, and some good moves. The match wasn't supposed to be a technical masterpiece, and instead was meant to get the crowd psyched up and excited.
• It was great seeing the return of D-Ray 3000, particularly his heartwarming reunion with Shark Boy.
• The return of Austin Aries Starr was also great, although I don't like the name change as I find it unnecessary and annoying.
• Zack Gowen may be annoying, but he's kind of impressive.
• Sirelda is annoying, but at least she's not Chyna. Or Asya. Or Nicole Bass.
• The other problem with the Austin Aries (I'm sorry, I refuse to call him Austin Starr) return was that we were unsure whether he was a heel or a face. Even when Nash was handing him the trophy we weren't sure. But if this leads to some Alex Shelley vs Austin Aries matches, I'm all for it.

The James Gang Vs AMW Vs The Naturals Vs Team 3-D

• Boring. How many times are The Naturals going to win the Number One Contendership and then lose a PPV match? And then get slapped around by Shane Douglas? Yawn.
• And the James Gang and AMW just disappeared. They brawled backstage, and that was the last we heard from them. Very stupid.

Raven Vs Runt Vs Samoa Joe Vs Abyss in the Monster's Ball match with Jake Roberts as the referee

• The match had some good action, with some awesome spots. Joe's senton driving Abyss' face into the tacks. Runt's plummet followed by Abyss' elbow drop.
• This match earned the first "This is Awesome" chant of the evening. Somewhat undeserving, but because it was the first intense match of the night, it got some crowd love.
• My big problem with this match is that it was a huge waste of Joe. They put him in a holding pattern after he beat JJJ last month, but his involvement in this match made no sense.
• Plus, what was with Jake stopping people from using chairs? Thumbtacks are okay, but you can't hit guys with chairs? Lame.
• Plus, the victory didn't help Joe, it hurt him. He needed a Jake DDT to beat Raven? How stupid. Joe shouldn't need Jake's help to beat anyone, let alone Raven.
• And when the hell is Raven going to get his title rematch?

Eric Young v Larry Zybysko

• I hate Larry Zybysko. And not that heel heat that makes me want to see him get his comeuppance. That heat that makes me turn the channel when he's on my television. So, in other words, Jeff Jarrett heat.
• Eric Young on the other hand, is hilarious. This match was pure comedy, and made no sense, seeing as how Young was 'fired' last week. But it was short, so it was inoffensive.
• The crowd was really into the 'Don't Fire Eric' chants. Now they just need to get Eric a new gimmick.

Jim Cornette Interview

• This is the other major problem with the show - the sound.
• I couldn't hear a word Cornette had to say. I guess he had laryngitis, but the sound was awful.
• Angle appeared, and got a pretty good reaction. Then he said a bunch of things that we couldn't hear.
• Evidently he said something that called out Joe, because Joe ran out.
• Then I think they fought or something. But because it was on the floor at ringside, we couldn't see anything. So, no sound, and no video. And because TNA wasn't putting the show on the video screens, it was pointless. So we just sat there with our thumbs up our asses.
• Then they fought on the ramp. We could see that, so a pretty good 'Let Them Fight' chant got going. Sadly, they did not heed our advice.

Chris Sabin Vs Senshi for the X-Division Title

• If I am locked in a coffin and slowly starved to death, but was shown this match over and over again while I died, I would die happy.
• This more than atones for the Jackass crap we've been forced to endure lately.
• I could go on, but suffice it to say, this match was more than deserving of the 'This Is Awesome' chant it elicitied. That chant also made me glad to see that the crowd wasn't just into the violent brawls.

Rhino v Christian Cage in an Eight Mile Street Fight

• Bad. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad.
• The match started outside. Not a good sign. They did show this on the big screens, but the cameras weren't equipped with lights, making the footage as useful as a Tony Snow press conference.
• There was a lame bit where Rhino drove the Zamboni part way into the arena, with Christian on the hood. If you're going to rip off Steve Austin gimmicks, at least do them right.
• The brawl then took place at a recreation of Eight Mile E. Which consisted of some fake street signs and some plastic street light Christmas decorations. It was so authentic, I thought I was on the real Eight Mile.
• The only cool spot was Christian Cage putting Rhino in a straitjacket. But once Rhino fought back, the ref helped Rhino out. WTF? At least have a plant in the crowd do it.
• Bad.

AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels Vs LAX in Six Sides of Steel for the NWA Tag Team Titles

• Once again, Styles and Daniels prove why they are the best things in wrestling today.
• And 'Cide proved why he belongs in the ring with them.
• And Hernandez proved he deserves the opportunity.
• And Konnan proved he is a great mouthpiece/manager.
• GHETTO FORK!
• This match is in a dead heat with the Sabin/Senshi match for Match of the Night. Crazy spots, non-stop action, and tequila as a weapon. This match had it all.
• Including the coat hanger!
• The Gringo/Cop Killa is the sickest move in wrestling today. And the fluidity with which Homicide applies it makes it even better.

Sting Vs Jeff Jarrett with Special Enforcer Kurt Angle, NWA Heavyweight Championship Vs Career

• I think I fell aslep during JJJ's entrance.
• This match was boring, and I had no interest in watching it. I hate Jarrett, but I also didn't want Sting to win. For me, the best-case scenario was for Russo to run in, and the three of them to fight over the belt, only to have the lighting grid collapse, killing JJJ and Russo, and ending Sting's career. Sadly, that didn't happen.
• Angle making himself the referee by Angle slamming the ref made little to no sense. But then again, ref logic wasn't a continuing theme of the show.
• When Sting won, some people were excited, but not enough to justify putting the belt on him. Sting should be helping to build new guys, not winning titles from a sack of crap like JJJ, who has no business being anywhere near a title belt of any kind.
• The guy in front of me had a sign that said 'Jeff Jarrett + Sting = WCW' That says it all right there.

Overall Thoughts

• Some technical difficulties really hurt this show. Well that, and a main event that had all the appeal of a syphillitic leprous crack whore. The undercard was strong, and for the most part really delivered. Hopefully TNA management gets a clue and takes JJJ out of the main event picture.
• Or ideally, out of the picture altogether.
• They need new LAX shirts. I'm happy with the "Joe's Gonna Kill You" shirt I got. And my roomie likes the Angle shirt I got him. But I think a shirt with "You Can Stop A Revolutionary...But You Can't Stop A Revolution" shirt would be killer.
  
• I've been to WWE PPVs, TV and house shows. I've been to indy shows. And now I've been to a TNA PPV. The production values aren't up to WWE standards yet, but they deliver a better in-ring product. Which, when you get right down to it, is more important.