Mania Musings

This year, I'm going to do something that I promised myself would never happen again. I'm going to miss Wrestlemania. The last time I missed Wrestlemania was Wrestlemania 19, when I foolishly chose to attend a school function for the Student Council that I had foolishly decided to become involved in. (Let that be a lesson kids, NEVER get involved in volunteer things that don't guarantee a return on your investment. Helping other people for the sake of helping other people is NEVER worth it.)

So I missed 'Mania, and then, because he is an incompetent boob, my buddy Andrew couldn't figure out how to work his VCR to copy the recording. So after he gave me two, count 'em, TWO, different tapes of TSN Curling, I knew I would have to wait to see the wrestling event of the year. So finally, in July, I was finally able to find Wrestlemania on DVD. And with that, I swore I would never miss another Wrestlemania again. And now, just a few years later, I am going to miss another 'Mania. Its like the High Holy Days have lost all meaning. (I should note at this point that my missing 'Mania is due to a class trip to check out Olympic facilities in Lake Placid and Montreal.)

And yet, despite my promise to myself, I find myself not caring. So far, according to the official WWE Wrestlemania site, the only announced match is Triple H vs John Cena for, um, whichever belt Cena has. Yawn. People are tired of seeing Triple H in championship matches, and they're crapping all over Cena's second title reign even more than his first. They're so afraid of the crowd reactions that they're keeping him off television in cities that have a history of not sticking to 'The Plan'. That's not supposed to happen with the World Champion. And what's even worse than the fact that the fans hate the champ is that this matchup will likely lead to Trips winning the belt. Not only will that suck for the simple fact that it means yet another mind numbing HHH title reign, but will also suck because the idea of a heel winning the belt at the biggest show of the year goes against what 'Mania is supposed to be...a celebration, an ending to the season, where the champion is a face, and the fans rejoice with their hero. Instead we'll have a heel (ostensibly a heel, since he'll probably get a majority of the fan support against Cena) spitting water on the fans, and in the faces of the people who follow wrestling.

Imagine how different things would be if 'The Plan' had been abandoned, and Edge had kept the title at the Royal Rumble. Then, instead of HHH winning the "tournament", have RVD win after kicking out of a pedigree. Now the main event is the fresh heel that fans are enjoying hating, and the recently returned face, who fans have tried desperately to get behind, despite the best efforts of the writing staff and the bookers. Now we have a main event that is fresh, is giving the fans what they want, and could end the biggest show of the year with a new champion, basking in the adoration of his fans.

None of the other matches that people are expecting are showing any hint of being planned with the fans in mind either. The one that comes closest is the addition of Rey Mysterio to the Angle v Orton match. Unfortunately, I have a feeling thats as far as the writers were willing to alter 'The Plan' and we'll be seeing an Orton title run beginning.

Edge v Foley does absolutely nothing for me. I'm sure Edge and Mick think it'll be great fun to have a 'Mania match, but I don't care about this match. And more importantly, I don't think it'll be very good. Foley seems to be a touch on the pudgy side. What would be better would be if Foley were to use this as a way to debut a new wrestler who will fight for him. But the "dedicated veterans" aren't going to let some punk rookie who hasn't paid his dues get a 'Mania payout when he's stuck at the Fan Festival signing autographs and shaking hands.

Money In The Bank, if it happens, should be a good match, given that it will probably consist of the actually talented wrestlers who are too good to outright release but not worth getting behind on the creative side. I see Carlito, RVD, Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Paul Burchill and Finlay in this, giving us a cross-promotional matchup.

But nothing really piques my interest. Instead, it seems like Wrestlemania this year is just another PPV, where we can rest assured that the King of Kings (and don't worry, I'll be attacking that moniker in a few days) once again assumes his rightful place atop the wrestling world, regardless of the fans and what they want. There will be no repeat of the classic ending to Wrestlemania XX, where Chris Benot and Eddie Guerrero, two longtime friends, stood together in the middle of the ring, holding aloft the belts that had been entrusted to them. There will be no Mania moment this year.

Thats what Wrestlemania is supposed to be about. Instead, this year, it appears to be about trying to make do, and doing what is necessary to force the fans to accept things that the writers, bookers and other power people want to see. So I won't feel too bad about not spending $49.95 for Wrestlemania. Instead, I'll enjoy my vacation, and, if I think it matters, I'll rent a copy of the show when it comes out on DVD.