Okay, I'll admit it, I used to watch Sex and the City. And I'll admit to having a crush on Kristin Davis. I mean, she's a very beautiful woman. And the scene where she's trying to demonstrate to Trey that he doesn't need porn is pretty damn hot. Of course, any woman would look gorgeous when compared to Sarah Jessica Parker, but still, Kristin Davis is really hot.
And yet, Hollywood informs me that I have a chance with her. In the upcoming film The Shaggy Dog, Kristin Davis plays Tim Allen's wife. In her last film, she played David Arquette's wife.
I mean, COME ON!
There is no reasonable way that a woman who looks like that could end up with a guy like Tim Allen or David Arquette. (And don't give me any of that Courtney Cox stuff. That woman is one sandwich shy of imploding.) If guys like them could get a woman like her, then clearly I have a shot too.
Now, clearly I don't. Clearly a woman who looks like that would end up with some handsome hunk (I'd like it noted that Kyle MacLachlan is a handsome man). But for some reason, Hollywood wants unattractive losers to believe that they can get a woman like Kristin Davis. It doesn't make any sense. Well, it makes sense in that it boosts the ego of pathetic schlubs like myself. And then it makes these guys feel better about themselves, encouraging them to watch the films and television shows. (Of course, its entirely possible that this practice also contributes to celebrity stalkers, but I have no proof of that.) But it has no place in reality.
Guys, if you want to think you can get a hot woman, watch porn. At least you can feel confident that, for $1000, you can enjoy an hour of PSE in Las Vegas with your favorite actress.
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